Here is Scene 1, part 2:
Luke goes back to the fridge and grabs two beers. As he comes back to the couch he hands one to Friedman and sits down just as someone knocks at the door.
Friedman: I got it.
Friedman jumps up and goes towards the door.
Colin: Friedman actually locomoting his lazy ass off the couch.
Luke: Can only mean one of two things.
Friedman: Shut the fuck up.
Colin: I’ve got five bucks on drugs.
Luke: That’s not fair. Jerry Garcia over here gets laid once every full moon.
Friedman: I get more than your ‘roid raging ass.
Colin: Ok. You pay me five if it’s about drugs and I give you ten if he’s getting some ass.
There is a second round of knocking.
Friedman [to outside]: Just a second!
Luke: Alright man. We’ve got a deal.
Friedman opens the door and lets in Kirsten. She’s an 18 year old freshman at Skidmore who grew up in Upstate New York just 50 miles outside the college. Kirtsen’s relatively short with a ok figure, but is a bit top heavy. She has dirty blonde hair that is cut right at chin level. Kirsten’s wearing a tight pink cotton spaghetti string top, with a white lace bra barely visible at the shirt’s neckline. She sports a pair of gray short-shorts that say Skidmore on the back and a pair of Asics. The “freshman fifteen” endemic to many 18 year olds is already showing in the fullness of her face and the tire around her waist.
Kirsten: Hey Friedman!
Friedman: Hey there.
Kirsten: Are these your roommates?
Friedman: Yeah. This is Luke.
Luke: What’s up?
Friedman: And this is…
Luke: A man who owes me 10 bucks.
Colin: Hold on. The jury’s still out on this one.
Friedman: That is Colin.
Colin: How do?
Kirsten: O…K…Do you want to head back to your room?
Friedman: Sure. Do you want a beer first?
Kirsten: That sounds great.
Friedman and Kirsten walk back to the fridge. Friedman opens the fridge and hands her a Rolling Rock while grabbing another one for himself. Friedman puts his hand on the small of her back and they walk back to his room.
Luke: C’mon man. Fork it over.
Colin: I’m not giving you shit yet. I refuse to believe that the president of the Ziggy Marley fan club is getting some from that girl.
Luke: They just went back into his room for Christ sakes. What do you think he’s doing?
Colin: Probably selling her a little nose candy.
Luke: Bullshit!
Colin: Where does Friedman keep his stash?
Luke: In his room under the mattress, but that’s beside the point.
Colin: No, that is the point. Do you think Friedman could ever get a girl like that into his room if illicit substances weren’t involved?
Luke: Sure he could. Plus, she’s only a freshman.
Colin: I don’t care if she were a member of the janitorial staff. No one that attractive would enter Friedman’s boudoir unless she were under the influence of or promised some substance.
Luke: But what if she’s exchanging sex for the coke?
Colin: Well then neither of us wins the bet.
Luke: Shit…How do you know she’s buying coke?
Colin: Look at the girl. Slutty WASPs like her never buy reefer. It’s always simply given to them by guys like Friedman who want to seduce women, but don’t know how to mix up a proper batch of rufies. Coke, on the other hand, is too fucking expensive to just hand out gratis to whatever girl you happen to fancy. And I think it goes without saying that our friend Kirsten isn’t in the market for psychedelics.
Luke: She could be getting some Adderall.
Colin: Not likely. I’d bet good money at least three of her friends have prescriptions that they dole out like Skittles. The only wild card is that she wants some E, but why would you take that shit at a White Trash Bash?
Luke: What makes you think she’s coming to our party?
Colin: When do you think she’s going to pay back Friedman?
Luke: I don’t know…maybe right now!
Colin: Come on bruiser. If you were her, would you fuck Friedman sober?
Luke: Good point.
Friedman comes back out of his room with Kirsten. He’s holding his beer in one hand with the other draped around her waist. She has both hands sheepishly hid in her pockets as they walk towards the door
Kirsten: Thanks Friedman. So, I’ll see you at the party?
Friedman: Sure thing
Kirsten: Cool [she gives him a peck on the cheek]. Bye.
Kirsten leaves the dorm and Friedman floats over to the wicker chair and plops himself down, sipping his beer. Luke and Colin stare at him in silence for a few seconds until Friedman notices.
Friedman: What?
Luke: Did you fuck her?
Colin: Your tact is astonishing Luke.
Luke: Thanks.
Friedman: No, I didn’t fu-…We just went into my room for a little bit.
Luke: To do what? Look at your record collection?
Friedman: I actually did show her my original issue Japanese release of “Dark Side of the Moon.”
Colin: So, she came all the way from the freshman girls dorm on the other side of campus because she just had to see your old, imported 45’s?
Friedman: Yeah.
Luke: Bullshit. You just fucked her.
Friedman: Are you insane?
Colin: I gotta side with Cheech over here on this one. They were in his room for, like, two minutes. I mean, Friedman’s not exactly an expert on Tantra, but it’s impossible to have sex that quickly.
Luke: I’ve done it before.
Colin: Are you bragging?
Luke: No, I’m just saying. Remember that girl Jenna Reynolds that I was banging sophomore year.
Friedman: Refresh my memory.
Luke: You remember her. Huge fucking tits–I mean like, 34DD, two handfuls and you still can’t grab all of it so there’s like a little area on the side that you can’t cup…
Colin: Stop it, because this could go on for days. Describe this Jenna Reynolds without writing a fucking sonnet about her breasts.
Luke: Don’t shoot the messenger. She just had really nice tits. It really doesn’t matter if you know who she is or not. I brought her up to prove a point.
Colin: Let’s have it.
Luke: Well, this girl was a fucking horndog. I mean, she wanted it 24/7. But we both had classes all afternoon on Tuesdays and Thursdays…
Colin: You actually went to class?
Luke: Fuck no, but she was all studious and shit. Anyway, she had a 15 minute gap between her classes, after biology or whatever the hell she was taking. We’d meet in the guys bathroom on the third floor…You know, the one no one goes to because only, like, one of the stalls work…and I’d zip down my pants, get Mr. Happy out, pull down her sweats…she never wore panties…and prop her up on the sink. When we were on we’d be done fast enough to get her to her next class early.
Colin: You really are a romantic. Minute-long sexual romps in the nastiest bathroom on campus; it’s like a Danielle Steel novel.
Luke: Hey man, she wanted it. But my point is that it is possible to bang a chick in two minutes.
Colin: But Friedman didn’t “bang” Kirsten in the couple of minutes she was here. Did you hear any shrieks of delight coming from back there?
Friedman: Will you two stop talking about my girlfriend like that?
Luke: Say what now?
Friedman: You heard me. Kirsten is my girlfriend.
Colin: Friedman, buddy. Let me just ask you one question. Aside from displaying your record collection, what did you and Kirsten do in your room?
Friedman: Nothing. She just came by because she wanted a gram or two for the party tonight.
Colin: Did she pay for that gram or two?
Friedman: No way man. I’m not going to make my girl pay for coke.
Luke: She’s not your girl.
Friedman: How the fuck do you know?
Colin: Anyone who isn’t on a strict regiment of three bong hits an hour could figure that out. This is not a relationship. It is a business transaction.
Friedman: What’s that supposed to mean?
Colin: It means each of you has something the other one wants, so you have come to a mutual agreement to exchange these goods for one another. It’s like barter economies in civilizations that don’t use any abstract currency.
Friedman: And what exactly are the goods that we’re exchanging?
Colin: Jesus…could you spell it out for him Luke?
Luke: She wants blow and you want pussy.
Friedman: You guys are both cunts.
Colin: Look Friedman: we just don’t want you to delude yourself into thinking you have something real with this girl and then find out that she’s just using you.
Friedman gets up and starts walking to the door.
Friedman: Fuck both of you guys. I’m going to get some more shit for the party and when I get back I don’t want to talk any more about this bullshit. Kirsten’s my girlfriend and you’ll just have to learn to deal with us.
Friedman walks out and slams the door
Colin: Well, it looks like our bet is a draw.
Luke: Alright, I’ll buy that.
The two shake hands and Colin gets up to pick up his backpack located behind the couch.
Luke: Where you going?
Colin: Class. I have an exam in Criminal Psychology so I have to go.
Luke: I thought you were a Philosophy major.
Colin [downing the rest of his beer]: I am, but they make everybody take at least one science course and it was either cutting open pig fetuses or this so…I’ll see you later.
Luke: Peace out bitch.
Colin puts on his backpack and walks out of the dorm. Lights go down. End of Scene 1.
